Tuesday, March 27, 2007

ze stress

So the getting married is kind of exciting, even though I was somewhat opposed to it in the past. I think it is all about participating in such a huge cultural event. So many societal implications! As I surf the internet, reading things about weddings, I become more and more convinced I want to have a party with people. We are all over the picnic in a park dealie, maybe even potluck? BUT what about the rain? Indeed, the rain is a problem. We need a backup plan. There are apparently few or no parks in New York City that contain picnic shelters. I grew up across the street from a park with about a million, but that is not the way we roll here. R and I suspect it is out of meanness to the homeless people, who would probably sleep in them. We are thinking of renting a tent but it is also spendy. Alas, what to do. I am going away to conference the rest of this week and over the weekend, but I think after that we need to do some footwork and tour some parks.

The second problem is the officiant. Apparently they are often $300! WTF?? It is out of control. For us, the ceremony is not very important and we want it short and too the point, so that seems like a huge waste of money. Also, why does someone 'official' need to be involved? More and more I am for the abolition of 'marriage' as a civil institution to be replaced by civil unions between any two people and marriage as a religious ceremony. So we might go to city hall on a Friday with our fams, and then have a party the next day, if we can come up with a rain plan.

My other stress is that I feel my dissertation is going too slowly. I am just not into it lately. I have been having a hard time balancing it with my part time job. The problem is my part time job often involves me getting up at 5:30, and then when I get off work I am exhausted. I am really going to try harder, because once I graduate I won't have to pay tuition, and I can get a real job and then I can worry about money less.

So, as often happens, I was freaking out about it all yesterday and then today I was contacted by two community colleges with adjuncting positions for fall. I am going to have to scramble for money for the summer, but I think Fall with my loans and 2 classes should be ok.

7 comments:

DancingFish said...

Can you get anyone ordained online to perform the ceremony? I know rules for the differ state by state. We are having a friend become ordained through the 'Spiritual Humanists' to perform our ceremony. They seem like the best bet for science minded folks. Even though it is technically some sort of religious organization, you can have the ceremony as jesus and god free as you like.

Ellen said...

That's what I was going to say. I think Gretchen married some of her friends, and she got "ordained" online through the Universal Life Church.

Right Reverend Shannon said...

Dude, I'm totally cheaper than $300...

Laurie said...

I am all over the internet minister (especially if they are named Shannon!) but R is not yet convinced. We are in discussions...

Laura said...

Congrats about the adjunct positions inquiries! You are so awesome!

Also, Shannon and I are going to check out the rules in New York for internet ministers. Some states are difficult. She's going to be going to Morocco over the summer, so we'll have to make sure there are no conflicts.

Do you still have to get blood tests before you get married? I never understood why that was part of it.

Erin said...

Congratulations on the adjuncting offers. You rule! I am sending you all of my good "get stuff done even while working a day job" vibes so that your dissertation moves along.

If it's not important to you to have a ceremonial ceremony, city hall might be very cool! Two of my friends just had a really nice elopement in St. Paul. The judge read a moving statement about marriage, and it seemed very special. (You can read part of it at meettheswenmans.com They announced the marriage to everyone by sending a link to the website.)

Laura said...

Hey it's a hairy Swensen who got married! That excerpt is very lovely.