So I am supposed to go to this talk tonight, which will be a good networking/social opportunity, and I will just enjoy it. However, I have had a raging headache all day and thus have gotten very very little done. Blah. I really feel like I need to go to this talk, but right now I just want to lie on the couch. Any pep talk to get me out of the house, or confirmation that I will be doing the right thing by staying home?
I have a troublesome relationship with sickness. Right now, I feel like part of this is my fault because today is my day off, yet the talk is by where I work and I really don't want to go down there. I have been having a hard time integrating my school work with my work work, so I have not made much PhD progress this last week. I keep telling myself that it is only my second week with the job and I am still adjusting and I will figure it out soon, but maybe I am just fooling myself, you know? Anyway, the point is that I can never just be, "ok, I'm not feeling well, I'll stay home". I always suspect the sickness comes from my inner laziness and is my fault. I also have a deep seated belief that I just need to suck it up and go about my business, although in nearly 30 years of life that has never ever worked out well. Also, I have been getting up at 5:30 all week yet staying up to 12:00 and I am soooo tired. I need to just go to bed early, although that means less time hanging with R. My life is so hard.
I need to decide in the next hour or so, so that I can email and give my space at dinner away if I need to. I think I'll go lay on the couch and try to read some articles and see how it goes.